Never say Neverland
by callas-and-ivy
Summary: The Boy-Who-Refuses-To-Die meets the Boy-Who-Refuses-To-Grow-Up. Insanity ensues with more plot twists than you can shake a stolen wand at.
1. Intruder

WOW, I'm writing something light, and fluffy... and just for fun and laughs. Although, as those who know me can attest, I can't do anything without fun and unexpected plot twists. So, here marches insanity and such in a cross over genre' I've never seen anywhere else.  
  
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Chapter One: Set-up  
  
The Dreams has been haunting him more than usual. And, strangely, he remembered them vaguely in the morning. No amount of flying could get the disturbing images out of his head. Flashes of light, muffled voices, a heavy thump and That Face. It was all too jumbled and confusing to make any sense out of them which scared him all the more. Being a boy who hated to be scared he decided to look for a cure in the same place he always found help. . . the open windows of England.  
  
**************  
  
Harry Potter gasped awake from the latest vision to attack his mind. Clutching his wand reflexively, he only managed to relax once his moist green eyes saw no danger in the room. Harry shivered, despite the warm air wafting in through his window, left open so that Hedwig could return at her leisure. Speaking of whom . . .  
  
"Someone should have sent me a letter by now." Harry mumbled to the empty room, kneeling up on his bed to look out the window. He'd been writing his friends every three days, like Moody had said, and most of the time received a prompt response, either from Ron or Hermione. Most recently, it was from both of them, as they were already together at the burrow this summer. But it'd been 3 days since Hedwig had left with a letter and she had yet to return. Out in the distance, Harry saw a glint of something small flying, but his hopes were dashed when it was flying away, not toward his window.  
  
**********  
  
The Dursleys, sufficiently cowed by Moody's warning at the beginning of the summer, had done their best not to aggravate the wizard living in the smallest bedroom of their home. They no longer demanded he do chores or starve him with an overly restrictive diet. But, after a few days of doing nothing with too much time to think, Harry chose to do some of his old chores and didn't feel like eating anyway. Sirius would never eat again, after all. Sirius never be able to enjoy his favorite meal again. . . and then Harry felt guilty because he had no idea what Sirius liked to eat. His own Godfather and he didn't know anything about him. Harry cursed himself for thinking about it again and refocused his mind on washing the dinner dishes.  
  
Waving a futile Good Night to the Dursleys, who refused to acknowledge him when not absolutely necessary, Harry trudged up to his room and pushed the door open, only to find it in utter chaos. 


	2. Wandnapped

Author's note..I'm not entirely sure why I posted the first chapter of this, nor the reason behind it's continuation. Phire Phoenix joked that I ought to delete it and obliviate all who have read it so far, since she knows of my abhorrence of un-finished stories and I'd decided I didn't have time for any more HP fan fics. My first two tales were written long before I knew such a thing as fan fiction existed and both turned out to be fairly cliché, much to my disappointment. But this one bombarded me and I realized that over the hundreds of fics I've since read, this plot line has never come up. So, with the exhilaration of trying something new, this marches on. . . . and on.  
  
Anyone who wants to beta, btw...tell me. As I have no talent for correcting my own work. So, either volunteer or forgive my mistakes.  
  
Chapter 2  
  
From the light of his desk lamp laying on its side on the floor, Harry saw his open trunk nearly empty of contents. His cloaks lay haphazardly strewn about the room, his cauldron and potion ingredients scattered toward the window. Two vials that had broken were mixing together dangerously, filling the room with a noxious fog. His beloved Firebolt lay discarded on his bed along side his invisibility cloak, while the monster book of monsters, recently reanimated in the confusion, was eating the photo album of his parents. Harry whipped out his wand and trained it on the dark form of the vandal. A short man, no . . . Harry blinked, it was a child standing by the open window fingering the rough flute Hagrid had made for him in first year.  
  
The intruders looked lazily up from his examination and smiled when he found himself at wand point.  
  
"Ah, thank you. That's what I was looking for." Harry stood there dumbstruck as the boy floated across the room and plucked the wand from Harry's hand before flying out the window. The temporary paralysis lasted only a minute though, before Harry realized that his wand had just been kidnapped. Grabbing his broom from the bed, Harry charged off in hot pursuit of the thief without a second thought, but the fleeing shadow had taken advantage of Harry's momentary lapse with a hefty head start. It wasn't until a few hours had passed and Harry was flying high over the ocean, with his quarry barely in sight, that he realized this could be one of Voldemort's traps. He was, after all, far from the protection of either Hogwarts or the Dursley's and no one would even know where to begin to look for him. The thought almost made him turn back, until he heard a laugh. A high cocky crow of a laugh, up ahead. That wand was his best bet for defeating Voldemort and he needed it back. . . now.  
  
Morning dawned and with the suns rays came Harry's first view of the island he'd been led to. It was relatively small and crowded with a diverse set of inhabitants. The call of wild animals followed the smoke and war cries of Indians. He was nearly caught up with the thief now, until a booming tore the air and what looked like a bludger grazed past his shoulder. Harry looked around for it to return until below he noticed a large Pirate ship. A Cannon Ball? Harry spotted the boy diving for the trees and followed as best he could through the unfamiliar terrain, but it was no use. The boy and the wand were gone. Cursing under his breath he alighted onto the top of a large tree and kept his seeker eyes peeled for any movement.  
  
After chasing squirrels, bears and a few mermaids, Harry was too frustrated and hungry to keep watch like this anymore. He needed a new plan and he needed to figure out where he was. It was then that Harry realized that since he didn't know where he was, he didn't know how to get back. 


	3. Gnome

Authors Note: A little longer this time. Unaccustomed to writing fluff as I may be, I've found in extremely enjoyable to play with . . . except when it gets under my fingernails. But hey, it tastes a bit like cotton candy. . . yum! This chapter is longer for your munching pleasure. And thank you so much for those who have reviewed. You are the elite who keep my inspiration, if not my punctuation, flourishing.  
  
Rachel R: My first reviewer! I honor and thank you. ~bows deeply~ Peter didn't kidnap Harry, just his wand and Harry went after him willingly . . . kinda.  
  
Phire: My ever faithful friend. Thank you for reminding me to update. I'd forgotten. ~blush~ And for always being there for me.  
  
Fate: Watch where you're poking that spoon . . . and here ya go. More on the way .  
  
ER: Thanks for the review. Anything I can do to please, within reason.  
  
BakaJin: ~grin~ Thank you. I hope you like this addition.  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Frustrated and hungry, Harry alighted on a small moss covered rock in the middle of a river. Taking a few drinks he sat back to contemplate his position. There was no imminent danger that he could see. His mind began to wander to the surrounding area. The island was, in fact, quite peaceful despite the rush of activity of some fairies he'd seen passing by. Since Lockhart's blunder with the devilish creatures Harry had decided to give them a wide berth, yet he'd never before seen such a wide variety of them in one place. Undoubtedly, this was an island familiar with magic. It was almost like a little vacation, just like the summer holidays should be for a boy his age. And it was much better than living at.wherever he was before he'd come here. Ah yes, the Dursley's. Thoughts of his guardians led him back to how he'd come to leave that place and his reason for being on this magical island.  
  
"I've got to get that wand back," Harry said aloud to refocus his thoughts on the task at hand.  
  
"So, it was your wand that the Pan has gotten. That explains it." A small grunting voice startled Harry from his thoughts.  
  
"Who's there?" Harry demanded, while he stood up to look around.  
  
"Watch it!" The voice called near his feet. "Down here, you great lug." Harry looked down to see a small gnome-like creature. Though this one more closely resembled the tall hated statues in muggle yards that the potato headed creatures the Weasley matriarch had waged war with in her garden. He had a round head and even rounder nose, that was tinted red, like his cheeks. The little man wore a loose white shirt and blue pants held up with suspenders.  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't see you there."  
  
"No, you boys never do. Although you're the first besides Tootles to ever apologize for it. Always thinking of yourselves, never understanding that your actions have consequences that affect other people." The gnome continued his tirade in a grumbling voice as he wandered away.  
  
"Please wait, sir." Harry pleaded. "I'm looking for my wand, it was stolen. Who did you say had it? Where can I find him?"  
  
"Oh, so now you pay attention to me." The gnome said turning around. "You can see me now that I have something you want. Well, it's your own fault that Peter is wrecking havoc in the world, leaving a trail of destruction in his way. Your own blooming fault, so you deal with it."  
  
"Peter?" Harry gulped. If Pettigrew was here than his Master was also close by. The thought made him shiver, he was completely unprepared for another bout with the Dark Lord and unarmed. "I'll get that treacherous rat, if it's the last thing I do." Harry resolved.  
  
The gnome looked at him curiously. "Really? A Lost Boy ready to take on Pan? Actually, you look just a bit too old to be a Lost Boy, too young to be a Pirate, too pale to be an Indian. . . just what are you?"  
  
"A Wizard, and until I get my wand back a really angry one."  
  
"Right-O! Called the gnome. Let's get off this rock and wait by the banks. He'll come by here with his band of hooligan's in a few hours, when the sun is high and the mermaids come to bask. Can you swim me across?"  
  
"I'll do better than that, I'll fly you." And before the gnome could protest Harry swooped into the air and across to the closest bank and behind a clump of trees.  
  
"Oh, you are a Lost Boy and as nasty as they are." The diminutive creature hollered. "That's how I got stuck on that old marooning rock you know. Just pick up an unsuspecting gnome and drop them whenever you feel like it. Fling them around a few times while you're at it, that's just fine by you, isn't it. Well, I've had enough of it. You're just as bad as Peter, so what makes you think you can teach him a lesson. If I were big I'd take you all across my knee right now, ungrateful, spiteful little child. Why, I ought to report you to Tinkerbell, you know. She'll wallop you good.  
  
"Tinkerbell?" Harry questioned, but grabbed the gnome and ducked when he heard singing near the water. Between the trees he could see the mermaids starting to gather.  
  
"Yes, Tinkerbell. She might not be able to keep the Pan brat in line but she'll sure has shootin' let you have what for when I tell he that you were disrespectful."  
  
"Shhhh, I'm sorry. I've just got to get my wand back from Peter, before he does too much damage with it."  
  
"Well, I can't argue with that. Shooting sparks and what not at odd times of the day, he's likely to set the whole island ablaze. Like it wasn't bad enough that he tromps through here waving a sword and all."  
  
"Sword?" Harry gulped again. "Well, I'll get my wand back and then I'll get him."  
  
"Ah, there he comes," whispered the gnome, for once not yelling. Harry looked all around but didn't see Pettigrew as either a rat or a man. Just a large boy that look rather like Neville may have a year or so before his first year at Hogwarts.  
  
"That's not. . ."  
  
"No, not him. That's Tootles. But Peter can't be far behind. What are you going to do to him. May I suggest tickling him, maybe tying him up and a bit of humiliation in front of the other boys. Shoot some sparks at him, that sort of thing." The bushes on the opposite bank rattled again. This was his chance. Just as the figure began to emerge, Harry silently mounted his broom before answering the gnome.  
  
"No, not after all he's done. When I get my hands on that rat I'm going to kill him."  
  
The gnome squeaked protest. "You can't kill the Pan!"  
  
"Watch me." Harry replied, with cold fire in his eyes.  
  
"So, you are a Pirate." 


	4. wizard on a hook

"Pirate, Pirate!" Yelled the gnome, and Harry cursed it mentally as his target burst through the foliage.

"Peter! I'll get you this time!" Harry yelled, flying over the river, until he was caught by surprise again. It was the thief from his rooms.

"Oh, it's you again," the young waif called as he floated lazily in the air. Harry marveled at the child's ability to seem so at home in the air. . . and that anyone would have hair messier than his own.

"Where's my wand and where's Peter?" Harry demanded, poised to spear the cocky child with his broom if need be. The boy's body became ridged and he scowled, placing his hands on his hips and stamping his foot in mid-air.

"I'm Peter! And I'll have you know that everyone who comes to my island is required to know that." Peter turned to a group of boys below, forming ranks on the banks. "Imagine him being stupid enough not to recognize me! Can you believe that this. . . what are you anyway. Boy or Pirate?"

Ignoring the quiet hollering of "Pirate, Pirate" from the gnome below, Harry answered the question the same as before.

"A wizard. And you've taken my wand, whoever you are."

"Peter, Peter Pan." The younger boy crowed. "And it's my wand now. If you want it, you'll just have to come and get it."

Harry surged forward quickly, but Peter was ready for him. Unencumbered by any apparatus to assist in flying, Peter could move far more quickly and unpredictably than Harry who, for the first time ever, found his top of the line Firebolt to be too slow. Still crowing Peter pulled the wand from his belt and held it tauntingly in front of him before zooming straight up with Harry close behind in his slipstream.

Harry caught up to Peter and latched onto his foot with a Seeker's grip. Despite Peter's twisting he couldn't free himself and the two lashed at each other in the air, heedless of their quickly decreasing altitude. Harry, having to maintain his grip on Peter and the broom sustained the most damage as he was hit with the thief's free hand.

The lost boys below had taken up the gnomes call, "Pirates, Pirates!" But were unheeded by either Harry or Peter until they hit the water and continued their struggle underneath the surface. It seemed like an eternity before they broke above and gasped for air. Harry had just a moment to see the Lost Boys take off into the forest, lead by his sparkling wand before a small boat obstructed his view. Just feet away, a surly band of men sneered at Harry before grabbing his collar and hauling him by his collar into the craft. The overwhelming stench of alcohol, filth and sweat pervaded the scene as the boat quickly made its way to shore and Harry struggle helplessly against the many hands, arms and boots pinning him to the bottom of the boat. Moments later the men picked him up again, only to dump him, unceremoniously at the booted feet of their leader.

Harry looked up into the pale blue eyes, wide with disbelief, of a man leaning over him. His red coat was pristine despite the filth of the men surrounding him. Instead of a hand a hook pointed straight at Harry's chest. For the first time in his life, Captain James Hook, stuttered.

"Y-you're a-"

"You're a-Pirate", Harry sputtered in response. The water sloshing in his lungs and shock were quickly overtaking the now shivering boy. He fought for consciousness, but it was a losing battle.

Captain Hook finally found the word he was searching for.

"Potter?"

Harry finally fell to the ground, wet, cold and grateful as he slipped into sleep for the relief of pain and confusion. The next sensation he became aware of was that his hands were bound behind his back. As awareness increased he realized he was laying in the center of a bustle of activity and that is was wood and no longer sand beneath him.


End file.
